Whole

whole:
adjective 1 [attributive] all of; entire; used to emphasize a large extent or number; 2  in an unbroken or undamaged state; in one piece; [attributive] (of milk, blood, or other substances) with no part removed; [predic.] healthy;
noun 1 a thing that is complete in itself; 2 (the whole) all of something;
adverb [as submodifier] informal-- used to emphasize the novelty or distinctness of something

http://oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/whole?q=whole
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I am not unbroken, yet I am whole, filling fissures with drawings, and words, and images not yet reproducible.

I am a whole scroll pulled open only to where I can put words to an image.  I'm painting present patiently because image gives me breath and breath gives me words and words return power taken away many rolls of the scroll ago, back when I turned then forward to a boundless blank space I could float fully within...a space I could land in when something in the whole-me declared it safe.

I'm coming in for a landing and walking forward, not quite forgetting the ancestral slither who never found their footing...who never moved if they did, standing in and around what was always there, always painted by someone or something else, always stagnant, colorless, and busy.

I'm picking a palette I may or may not choose tomorrow.  I'll paint in image where there's blank space while I start to paint image over images I turned past to avoid, to preserve a self trying to be whole.

Hold on. Whole worlds are changing. I'm starting by healing myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anlyPRMjkf8&feature=youtube_gdata_player